Hahsni
Part
Two
Rachel Mundy’s mind was not
willing to accept what her eyes were telling her. Her heart was beating furiously, but her head
seemed surprisingly clear. She stepped
back from the mirror, not trusting the image it showed her and looked down at
herself. Now she saw that was indeed
dressed in tight leather clothing, just as the reflection showed. The leather was very soft and was smooth to
the touch. Rachel realised this was not
the cheap hard, almost brittle, leather you often saw in shops, this was
quality designer leather and she wondered how much these clothes had cost. For a moment she felt rather privileged to be
dressed in them and certainly appreciated how good they felt on her. Then Rachel reminded herself sharply that
these were not her clothes and, in fact, she could never envisage herself
dressed this way. Countering that, she
told herself, that, of course, it was not ‘her’ in these clothes it was this
young Korean woman and, as she knew from her own sightings of her, this outfit
suited perfectly.
Rachel looked at her hand. It was smaller, slender, a more ivory shade
than her skin had been. Rachel ran her
hand down her front, passed her waist. As
she looked around her she realised, she was a little shorter than she had been too. She took a couple of steps back and then
forward to stand close to the mirror again; the thongs of her boots flailing
gently as she did. Incredulous, Rachel
lifted her hands to her face and ran them over her lips, her nose. Everything her fingers told her matched what
she could see reflected. She turned her
head and looked over her shoulder where her long black hair stretched down her
back. Looking back at the mirror, Rachel ran her index finger gently around the
ellipse of her eye. The face was a
stranger’s, she kept telling herself, yet she realised quickly that these
beautiful features seemed somehow so right for her to be wearing. She blinked and then again, but when she
looked it was this face, what she was rapidly finding herself thinking of as
her face, that looked back. Rachel tried
to call to mind her face, what she thought of as her real face, that of Rachel
Mundy. However, she found it difficult
to hold all the features in her mind’s eye at once. Instead, this attractive, youthful, Oriental
face maintained, by its very reflection of where she stood, that it was hers. She shook herself as if she could snap out of
what she was seeing, even shake herself free of her body, but doing that seemed
to have the opposite effect and emphasised that this was the body she was in
and it felt good in a way Rachel could never remember her own body feeling,
even at nineteen.
Rachel’s mind ran with all kinds
of thoughts. Despite what she could see
and feel, it was impossible that she could have gone from being a Caucasian
woman in cotton and synthetic clothing to being this leather-clad Korean woman,
clearly just leaving her teens rather than halfway through her thirties. She was sure that this must be some kind of
dream. That was the only explanation. She had been working hard and seeing this
young woman around she must have dreamt about her to the extent that she had
suddenly saw herself actually as that woman.
In some ways, that thought excited Rachel. In this body she could try out all of the latest
fashions as tight and as sexy as she wanted.
However, as the moments passed, Rachel knew she was lying to
herself. Dreams may be realistic but for
this to be a dream it somehow had to have touch and smell added. She could feel the clothes she wore, from the
silk chemise beneath her cardigan to the constraining leather of her trousers
and long boots. She could smell that
leather and some expensive perfume she seemed to be wearing. Aside from that, around her, the shop was
just the store that she knew, nothing was exceptional about it: Brad Pitt was
not serving behind the till and no herd of elephants was storming through.
Rachel glanced at her watch,
knowing somehow that it was a Movado Reva that her parents had given her when
she had turned eighteen, and saw that only a couple of minutes had passed since
she had seen the clock in the centre of the mall. Of course, the dream might have an internal
logic, but all of this seemed too real for a fantasy. Yet, how did she explain that, suddenly, she
had had a body swap? Where was her body,
the body of Rachel Mundy? Then she drew
up short: a designer watch for her eighteenth birthday, where had that knowledge
come from? She guessed that this dream
or hallucination or whatever it was, was filling in a back story for her. Rachel took some deep breaths and decided
that it appeared that whatever had happened was not going to reverse itself any
time soon. She walked, very
self-consciously, from the store, both feeling that everyone’s gaze was on her
and trying to stop herself enjoying the body that she had suddenly found
herself in.
Outside the store, Rachel headed
to the cafe and, without thinking, bought a blackcurrant juice. It was only when she was carrying it over to
her table that she realised it was not the kind of thing she usually
drank. She put it down anyway and,
sipping some, found the taste was good, nice and refreshing. She put the Korean woman’s shoulder bag, a
Tod’s ribbed leather one, on the table.
She felt rather guilty rifling through another woman’s things, but thought
that, if nothing else, she had to get to know this woman’s name. The identity card issued by the university had
her name arranged in the Western way. Rachel
was a little unnerved that she had suddenly gained an understanding of Korean
names and knew that this woman, the one whose body she seemed to be in, was
called Soo Jin and her surname was Tae.
The picture on that card and the student union one was that of the face
she had seen reflected. As she sorted
through the documents in the bag it appeared that Soo Jin was a business
studies student from Kunsan in South Korea, with a good qualification in
English language and just starting her second year of her degree here in
Britain. Her British address was in a
street not far from where Rachel had once lived, one where many of the terraced
houses were now let out to groups of students.
Realising that, Rachel suddenly felt the urge to go home, to go there
and be with her housemates, they could reassure her that everything was
alright.
Rachel stopped herself abruptly. That place was not her home; those housemates
would be strangers to her. She realised
that, all too easily, she had been slipping into having the thoughts that Soo
Jin might have. Rachel had no idea how
all of this worked, but she had a sense that if she began thinking like Soo Jin
then she would simply become her in entirety and she would forget that she even
had a need to change back. Not only did
that seem wrong, that her life as Rachel Mundy would have been stolen, but she
also worried, that it would trap Soo Jin’s consciousness in the body of Rachel
Mundy and that certainly did not seem fair on the young woman. On that basis, with new determination, Rachel
decided that she had to find where her, Rachel Mundy’s, body was. Perhaps if she could reunite them there would
be something like in the movies, perhaps a flash of lightning and she and Soo
Jin would suddenly find themselves back in their own bodies. Even if that did not happen, it seemed sensible
to at least have both sides of the puzzle back together. At least then she could reassure Soo Jin that
she was not alone, and, at least as Rachel felt, had not gone mad.
Rachel walked to the bus stop; as
she did, being very conscious of the clothes she was wearing and also the
reactions of people she passed. Of
course, many of the old women who she passed, even women of her age, looked on
disapprovingly, but Rachel found she simply ignored them and concentrated
instead on any young men she saw. Rachel
wondered if she had ever been this interested in the opposite sex at
nineteen. She guessed that Soo Jin was
pretty different to the teenaged Rachel Mundy, after all, she had come halfway
round the world to study and seemed to strut around town unashamedly in her own
eye-catching style. Rachel fought
against it but she found she was eyeing up the young men and enjoying the
sensation when they looked her over. It
was not the kind of attention she had received in many years and certainly
never on this scale. She could not help
but admit that it gave her a pleasurable tingle.
Struggling to focus, Rachel
decided the best place to head would be back home. Perhaps in her body and with her possessions,
Soo Jin would have thought to go to Rachel’s house to sort things out. Rachel went to the bus stop, this seemed a
sensible approach to take. As she sat
down on the narrow metal strip that served as the seat in the bus shelter and
stretched out her leather-clad legs Rachel felt a strange realisation: she was
about to act as she had seen the woman she now knew as Soo Jin do on previous
days, coming aboard the bus and heading towards the university. For a moment, Rachel wondered if rather than
heading home, going to the university would be the trigger to rectify all of
this: she would see herself, Rachel, seated on the bus and everything would
revert to how it would have been. Of
course, the timing was different, with all her wandering around it was now well
into the morning. Rachel realised that,
for all her sassiness, Soo Jin must be a keen student to be going to the campus
at the same time as employees were heading to work. It might work, she told herself, she had to
remain confident.
As she sat there, it was clear to
Rachel that people were looking at her.
While she imagined it was because they knew something extraordinary had
happened to her, but then guessed, rationally, that it was for a mixture of
reasons. The real Soo Jin was probably
more self-confident than Rachel herself; certainly given the way she
dressed. She had picked distinct, sexy
outfits, in contrast to the more low-key hooded tops and jogging bottoms she
had seen some of the other female overseas students wearing. It seemed no surprise that she, in Soo Jin’s
body and the clothes it wore attracted attention.
Now Rachel sat, impatient for the
bus to come, and wondered if that was another trait of Soo Jin’s seeping
through. She lifted up the large leather
shoulder bag she was carrying and sifting through it she found a student bus
pass and then an ipod. Rachel was
curious what music it would hold and, anyway, it might pass some time until the
bus came. She put the small headphones
into each ear and dialled up a shuffle.
The music was unfamiliar to her.
It seemed like pop music but the words were peculiar, she guessed the
performers were singing in Korean but she had a feeling that if she just tried
that little bit harder she would be able to understand them completely. As she flicked through various tracks they did
seem familiar to her and she left one running, despite the lyrics currently
being incomprehensible. Increasingly Rachel
found she liked the music and it made her feel relaxed.
As Rachel sat back and looked
around her, her gaze caught sight of the building society where she worked, a
short way down the street. She realised
that with her mind getting to grip with all that had happened she had not
realised where she had been walking or not picked up on the familiar
location. She suddenly wondered if in
her body, rather than head home Soo Jin would have gone to the building society
seeking help. Would that be the right
approach for herself? While she was
nervous about being seen in this form, increasingly she felt, that she could
deal with all of this better if she could at least talk with Gill or Beth who
would be in there today. Rachel got up
from the bus shelter and began to cross the road to the building society. For a moment she realised she was worrying
that she would see someone she knew. Of
course, she reminded herself, most of the people she travelled alongside on the
average morning would have been at work for hours. She then felt optimistic that, in fact,
seeing someone she had known as Rachel might trigger her going back to her own
body and she now crossed the road with more enthusiasm.
Seeing Soo Jin’s face reflected
palely in a shop window, she imagined that unless she said something, no-one
would even guess that she was not the young Korean student she appeared to be
and so it was likely there would be no challenges, she could handle all this at
the pace which suited her best. In a few
minutes she was at the building society.
As she looked into her branch’s front window she felt apprehensive
again, worrying what would happen once she walked in. Rachel told herself to be brave, after all,
for now, this seemed like the only way she stood a chance of getting back into
her body and return to living her own life again. She joined the queue and waited
patiently.
There was no sign of anyone in
there looking like Rachel Mundy and she felt she had been foolish to assume Soo
Jin in her body would come here.
However, Rachel did notice that, at the desk where she usually sat when
not serving the public, there was a smaller, dark-haired woman who she did not
recognise. Perhaps she had been called
in from another branch, because they were busy that morning. Rachel felt rather guilty to think she had
left her colleagues with a heavy workload simply because she had wanted a day
off to go shopping. She found quickly, though
that she was reminding herself it was her right and, in fact, they did not seem
overly rushed in here.
To calm herself from her
see-sawing thoughts, Rachel focused on her ipod and dialled up another
track. Somehow, even though she could
not have spoken the words herself, she found she was at least able to
comprehend the meaning of the songs, a lot of the words were the usual pop
lyrics about love. Rather than feeling a
little irritated by such things, the way she usually did, Rachel found now she
quite enjoyed them and the time passed quickly.
Despite pushing aside such
concerns and gazing vacantly at all the different posters, Rachel kept on being
startled as she noticed the feel or the sound of the clothes she wore or caught
sight of a reflection of herself as a young Korean woman. Inside she had a vision of herself as the
normal Rachel Mundy in her usual clothes and it was a surprise each time she
realised that that was not in fact the case.
Eventually she reached the head of the queue and walked to the counter,
rehearsing in her head what she was going to ask.
“Hello, dear, how can I help
you?” Julie Hudson asked.
Even if she had been a stranger
at the building society Rachel would have known Julie’s name from the badge she
wore. However, of course, she knew Julie
far better than that. The two of them
had been working together for six years and, whilst Julie was not Rachel’s best
friend at work, they got on well and often went to lunch together. For a moment Rachel felt like shouting ‘Julie,
it’s me, it’s Rachel Mundy!’ but realised that it would sound peculiar and,
appearing as a nineteen year old Korean woman, it would be taken either as some
kind of strange joke or, at worst, as if she had lost her senses. If she had still believed this was a dream, Rachel
realised, then she would have given it a go in the hope she would break down
the rules of this dream scenario and wake up.
However, with all the sights, sounds, smells and particularly what she
felt by touching, she knew that, however impossible it was, this was real. She was inhabiting the body of a young Korean
woman. The question remained was whether
some Korean woman’s mind was in her body?
Some straight switch seemed easier to deal with.
“Erm, can I speak to Rachel
Mundy? She works here.” Rachel said.
By the way Julie did that
expression that looked like she was straining to hear but in fact was
struggling to understand, Rachel realised her words were probably coming out
with some Korean accent.
“Are you sure you’ve got the
right branch? There’s no-one called Rachel
Monday working here.” Julie said slowly
and looked to Beth and Gill either side of her for confirmation.
“Rachel Mundy. Are you sure?”
“Yes, were you told she worked
here?”
Rachel nodded her head. “Yes, I had an appointment with her.” She said to make it seem more official.
“There’s another branch near the
station.” Gill chipped in; Rachel knew it well enough: she had occasionally
worked there as cover. “But I guess you
probably want one of the banks at the university. You are a student?”
Rachel did not know how to
respond to that. Of course, she looked
like a student, she even had the appropriate identity card and course work and
everything, but surely that was all a masquerade of some kind, this weird
occurrence, this strange dream. Rachel
felt that if she agreed with Gill’s assumption then somehow she would be
admitting a little bit of defeat, allowing herself to take one more step away
from actually being Rachel Mundy and to accepting that in fact she was Tae Soo
Jin.
“Thank you.” Rachel said simply and walked away, imagining
that, as she did, her three colleagues would be exchanging rather bemused
glances but, in moments, would be concentrating on the next customer.
Out in the street again, Rachel
wondered about what the absence of Rachel Mundy from even the memories of Julie
and the others signified. Of course,
they might simply have misunderstood the name she was asking for, but it did
seem to eliminate one assumption that Rachel had made about her body being
somewhere around town, probably with Soo Jin’s mind in it. For a moment, Rachel felt the desire simply
to forget all about this: after all, she had reading to do and an essay to
prepare. Then she snapped back, mentally
shouting at her mind to stay focused and not let the siren calls of easing
fully into Soo Jin’s life tempt her.
A little at a loss what to do
next, Rachel wandered back through the centre of town and found herself looking
into boutiques she normally would not have given a second thought to. Soo Jin’s faint reflection in each window as
she looked at the mannequins on display kept reminding her that now she could
try on all the fashions on display with no challenge, they would look good on
her, she was sure. Her slender legs
would look wonderful in those leggings and whilst her breasts were of average
size at her age, or rather in the body of a nineteen year old, she could
certainly carry off those cropped tops in the place of the loose teeshirt she
was wearing. Rachel was so tempted to go
into a shop and try some of the things on.
However, she realised it would seem all wrong, it would not be Rachel
Mundy’s reflection looking back at her but that of Tae Soo Jin and it would
almost feel as if she was eavesdropping on the poor woman, ogling her
body. With a shudder, Rachel walked away
pondering what there was that she could do.
Suddenly Rachel had an idea and
reached into Soo Jin’s bag and pulled out her smart phone. The young woman certainly seemed to be well
equipped, but Rachel imagined that her family must be pretty well off to be
able to send her study in the UK for three years. Then she remembered something she had read
about even British students arriving at university with thousands of pounds’
worth of electrical equipment.
Consequently, she guessed, Soo Jin having the latest phone, gloss black
in colour, no doubt to match her preferred style, was not a real surprise. It certainly contrasted with the old thing Rachel
had seemed to have had for ages.
It took some moments for Rachel
to work out how to use the device but within a couple of minutes she was
calling her home phone number. After a
couple of rings an unfamiliar voice emanated from an answerphone and told Rachel
that this was the number for a Charlotte Bailey. Rachel input her number again only to get the
same response. Frustrated, she shoved
the phone back into her bag and tried to work out the implications of what she
had discovered in the past few minutes.
Of course, this might still all be a dream and she would, hopefully wake
up and, at worst find she had overslept or had a bump on her head. However, the longer it went on it seemed to
be that this was real, yet it was all entirely impossible. For a moment she wondered if she in fact had
always been Soo Jin and the dream or the hallucination caused by some blow had
been what had made her think she was Rachel Mundy. Perhaps that was the simple answer and she
should forget about all this running around trying to find this English woman
in her thirties who worked in a building society and concentrate on what she
was: a nineteen-year old Korean student with work to be done.
For an instant that seemed the
perfect solution, but then something piqued Rachel. She was still thinking of herself as Rachel,
that was not really fading and to give up trying to reconcile her mind and her
body seemed to be a betrayal of the life that she remembered having as Rachel
and all that had encompassed. Surely it
was memories that made someone’s identity and, of course, she had no memories
of being Soo Jin. As she thought about
it, however, she found that was not really the case. Quite quickly she could call up memories of
arriving in Britain, her lectures and seminars, even the essays she had written
in her first year. Before that she could
remember her home in South Korea, her school, friends back there and, of course,
her parents and her sister, Kyoung Mi.
With this flood of memories, Rachel stopped herself, worried that they
would drown out what she could remember of her life, Rachel Mundy’s life. Rachel wondered if she would find answers at
Soo Jin’s house, but was concerned for now, that if she went there, something
might click into place, an acceptance that that was where she actually lived,
and, as with her thoughts about memories moments before, would obliterate her
identity as Rachel.
Rachel was at a loss what to do
and decided to head to another cafe.
Again self-conscious of how she appeared, so differently from how she
still envisaged herself, she eschewed the tea room style cafe she usually
favoured and found herself heading to a juice bar that was popular with
students. She had a real urge for a
blackcurrant smoothie. Usually she
disliked dark fruit, tending to stick to orange, but now she had a real taste
for it. Within a few minutes she was sat
on a high stool at the window sipping on the refreshing drink idly looking at
the passing customers. However, she was
conscious too of the students in the room with her, especially the small clutch
of Koreans, a couple of men and one woman, who seemed to have an interest in
her. However, as she expected from
people of her country, of South Korea, they were polite and might have
commented on her but showed no intention of bothering her. Rachel pulled out her ipod again and brought
up another tune, this time she quickly found herself singing along with the
lyrics. Then she was aware of a presence
behind her and pulled out her earphones.
“Soo Jin?”
Rachel turned at the sound of the
voice, surprised a little that she felt that she should so easily respond to
that name. Standing beside her was Kwan
looking quite serious.
“You know me?” Rachel asked with seemingly equal uncertainty.
“Yes, I’m ...”
“You’re Heo Kwan, we met a couple
of days ago on the bus. Well, no, you
met me at the bus stop, or the me that I look like now at the bus stop. However, you met me, the me in here,” Rachel
patted her chest, “on the bus the day before that. I am ...”
Rachel trailed off. She suddenly realised that the conversation
she had just had was not in English, but Korean. Moments later she realised too that she was
fumbling for her British name, but guessed that stemmed from speaking in a
different language.
“It worked.” Kwan said.
“What worked?” Rachel hoped she was speaking in English. “Are you responsible for what has happened to
me?” Rachel said brusquely, but more
from a sense of curiosity than anger.
Kwan took the seat beside her but
with no air of urgency. Rachel did now
hope there would be some answers.
“You were the first person who
was kind to me since I came to this city and did not look like you wanted to be
somewhere else rather than talk with me.”
This did not seem like any of the
answers Rachel was looking for and she wondered if meeting Kwan here was simply
chance rather than connected with what had happened to her. However, she did wonder, how he knew the name
she had. She guessed that if she had
swapped bodies, then, of course, there would have been a good chance that he
had simply known Tae Soo Jin. However, the
phrase ‘it worked’, she realised, indicated that he did indeed have some
awareness of what had happened even if he had not initiated it.
“Yes, and so ...”
Kwan hesitated for a moment but
then seemed to feel as if he had to make some explanation. “I have abilities, well, everyone in my
family has such abilities, but we use them rarely. I never want to use my abilities for harm,
just to reward people and of all of those I have met in this country you seemed
the one deserving of reward.”
“By turning me into a Korean
student?” Rachel asked a little
indignantly.
“By allowing you to become the
most wonderful kind of woman, young and beautiful and, yes, of course, Korean,
the best people in the world to be part of.”
“Can’t you turn me back?”
Kwan looked a bit bemused at the
request.
“No. It is not really me who transformed you. I gave you some options, but you made the
choice to change. Members of my family
have the ability to alter bits of reality, to open up pathways in the place of
others. However, if this goes against
what the person wants, then, well, it is likely not to succeed. It would be immoral and I guess the universe
would not tolerate that. I simply
created an avatar and it was you who decided to take on its form for real; to
step into the new pathway I had opened up.
That was how I knew that I had made the right choice when you began
becoming Soo Jin. If it had not been
what you wanted then this never could have happened.”
“So who was this Soo Jin whose
life I have taken over?”
“She wasn’t anybody. She was a Hahsni, an avatar, that I created.”
“She was real, she was a human, I
saw her interacting with people.”
“Yes, but that was just a shell,
what I created had no consciousness of what or who she was, she was like a
robot programmed to behave in certain ways.
She had limited life. If you had
not accepted my gift, well, then she would have faded away.”
Rachel sat for a moment trying to
absorb what Kwan was saying, it certainly sounded as if it had come from a sci-fi
novel. However, what she could not deny
was that she was sitting here, appearing to anyone who looked, that she was a
young Korean student. If she accepted
that as the fact it increasingly appeared to be, then she had to accept that
other incredible things were possible.
“What about her family, her
sister? Did you ‘create’ them too.”
Kwan shook his head. “No, the Tae family simply acquire an elder
daughter they did not once have.
However, of course, they believe they always had Soo Jin, and because
reality has shifted that little bit. It
is now true, you are that daughter, that elder sister.”
“People do not appear and
disappear like that.”
“In this country, how many is
it? About one in three hundred people go
missing at any one time. Of course,
occasionally some people appear too.
There are strict rules. I cannot
wipe someone out, but they can change, especially if they want to change and it
is to something better.”
Rachel was going to argue about
her life not being that bad. However,
guiltily, she knew that Kwan was right in saying that she had wanted this
change. Of course, she would never have
considered it before and naturally, anyway, would have believed such things
were impossible. Yet, she had not been
able to shake her fascination with Soo Jin and her life, and had actually
shifted her own more in that woman’s direction.
Had she not, in fact, wanted Soo Jin’s life and gone out to get it? If she had not followed the woman, this
avatar, into the store, then she doubted that the change would have occurred.
“What about Rachel Mundy?” She asked, feeling that partly she knew the
answer.
“You have seen it. The universe tidies itself up very
quickly. Someone works in your place at
the building society and Mr. and Mrs. Mundy have a daughter called Rachel,
though I doubt you would recognise her.”
“All very neat.” Rachel said but more with admiration at
Kwan’s abilities than with any sarcasm.
“Of course, this is a reward, a
thank-you gift for the kindness you showed me.
To you it might appear something so small, but after being in a country
so long and regularly meeting only sourness, it was refreshing to talk with you. Take the gift that I am offering. I can see that you do truly want it though
you still hesitate to take it fully. Accept it entirely, doing that will really
hearten me.”
Rachel felt uneasy. Was Kwan tricking her? Had it been the case that he had really just
created his ideal version of a girlfriend and had simply used Rachel as the raw
material to achieve that? She marvelled
at that question. All of this was, of
course, impossible. People were not
simply transformed in terms of their age, their appearance, their ethnicity,
and yet, that was what she was now being forced to accept had happened.
If Kwan was telling her the
truth, then, was it really the case that she had decided to assume this form,
to accept his ‘gift’ and become a sexy young Korean woman? Rachel thought back over when she had first
seen Soo Jin and the touch of jealousy that she had felt that Kwan was talking
to her. This had been followed by her
fascination with how this unknown woman had dressed and looked. Had she not also envied the woman’s youth,
her slender body and long hair? Surely
jealousy and envy meant that you wanted to possess what the other person
had. On that basis, had she not, in
fact, wanted to be Soo Jin; to live her life?
Of course, such thoughts and feelings usually remained simply that, what
had been different this time was that she had been given the chance to live that
life for real.
Were the changes in fact anything
more than cosmetic? Was what Kwan had
done nothing more than what complex plastic surgery could have brought
about. Rachel realised that since the
change there had been a whole range of thoughts that she had kept on
dismissing, trying to deny that they were relevant to her. As she recognised that fact and, possibly
just out of curiosity, let them have freer rein, it was as if an opening had
been made in the wall that was keeping these thoughts from coming naturally to
mind. She began thinking of how she
liked these clothes and ran her slender fingers over the smooth leather of her
trousers. She found she loved the way
that how she dressed both made her feel sexy and attracted attention. She glanced over at Kwan and felt pleased
that he loved the way she appeared.
For an instant she was curious at
why Kwan’s opinion mattered to her, but then she realised it was because she
fancied him. That was no surprise, he
was tall, handsome, intelligent, polite and, though she knew he had a sense of
humour, he was not frivolous, something that a young woman like herself,
studying so far from home felt was an important characteristic for a
boyfriend. Boyfriend? Of course, she was hoping that Kwan could
become that and not just sometime, but tonight.
A little nervously she brushed her long black hair back from her
face. She felt for a moment as if she
had turned back into a demure girl of the past.
However, she reminded herself, she was a modern woman, a confident
Korean woman who took the initiative.
She looked up at Kwan from beneath her eyelashes and was reminded how
good he appeared; she felt the urge to feel the body under those clothes. She smiled sweetly.
“Would you like to go out for a
drink?” The words came with ease but
left her blushing.
“Of course,” Kwan responded. “I
was going to ask you, but a woman who can ask herself, well, it’s the
2000s. I could tell you were confident
from how you dress and I like that, I like it a lot.”
Soo Jin felt a thrill run through
her, this was going even better than she had expected. She had not to rush things, but it seemed
that Kwan had had the same ideas as herself and she was glad that she had not
let him slip away. She had the urge to
kiss Kwan right now, but reined in her feelings, there was time enough for that
later and she did not want to appear over-eager. However, she found herself sliding from the
stool and taking the short step to press herself against Kwan and move her lips
on to his. As his arm came round and
pressed her leather jacket into the small of her back, she knew she had made
the right decision: why waste time when there was pleasure to be had?
“Okay, well, I need to go and get
ready. I will see you at seven in ‘All
Bar One’.” Soo Jin said confidently.
“Sure, sounds good.” Kwan replied looking a little bemused.
Soo Jin had a feeling that she
knew this town far better than him. She
guessed she would have to get him to return the favour and take her to some
good places in London, where she knew he had been studying before. For now, she quite liked being on what, after
a year of living here, she felt was home turf.
She had selected the wine bar deliberately. She wanted somewhere that would be busy and
lively, but not too noisy that she would not be able to hear herself speak and
the sofas would allow her to snuggle discreetly towards Kwan. She had already determined that she was going
to have sex with him later. Being
October it was coming on to darkness by the time she reached the bus stop. However, it was dry and anyway in her
leathers she usually shrugged off the British weather.
It took a while for Soo Jin to
reach the house she shared with three other students: another Korean woman,
Choon Yei, and two Thais, a woman and a man, just friends rather than a
couple. Soo Jin had big hopes for Choon
Yei who was far too mouse-like for her own good, though very warm hearted and
with a great sense of humour if you could get her to relax. Soo Jin was keen to develop her confidence
more and get her to trade the baggy tracksuit bottoms and Uggs for some far
sleeker leggings and boots, then she could be a really good companion for
nights out. Soo Jin wondered if Kwan had
some friend on his course that they could match Choon Yei up with; she might go
for a slightly older man.
Soo Jin called out as was her
habit when she came home, but there was no response; she guessed her housemates
were out, perhaps sleeping. She went up to
her room, she had the large front one with a bay window looking out over the
street. She switched on the light to
reveal a magnolia painted room decorated by the landlord in a style reminiscent
of the Eighties. Soo Jin had added
posters of K-pop artists: Epik High, Rain and DBSK. She kept her room tidy and, as always, now
put her bag down on the low table by the door; she would take her smaller,
Radley Chelsea bag when she went out later.
Soo Jin looked at the clothes in
her wardrobe. For a moment she thought
about going with something conservative but knew that that was not her. She knew that she wanted sex with Kwan so why
not appear sexy and communicate that to him the moment he saw her? She picked up a corset style top. She had a couple of these, one in shiny
vinyl, but, given that she was looking to be dressed in other glossy clothes,
she picked her charcoal grey one with the black silk ribbons laced down the
front. She then pulled on a new thong
before sliding her shapely legs into the tight shiny vinyl trousers and lifting
out the cropped vinyl jacket that went with it.
She did up a couple of the metal buttons on that before turning to her
boots: tonight it would be the patent lace-up knee-length ones. She sat on the edge of the bed and ran the
laces between the ski hooks and pulled them tight. Soo Jin stood up and ran her hands over the
slippery vinyl of her trousers, loving how snug she felt in those and how the
corset top hugged her. There was a real
sleekness about this outfit that she liked and it certainly did the job of
making her both feel and appear sexy.
She went to her dressing table and brushed her long black hair before
turning to her make-up, selecting dark plum lipstick and then silver shades for
her eyelids.
Satisfied with her handiwork, Soo
Jin stopped and looked at her reflection.
For a moment it was as if her face was unfamiliar to her, as if she was
looking not at her own features but those of a stranger, a woman alien to
her. Thinking that, she felt that there
was something at the corner of her mind, just out of the reach of her conscious
thoughts. She looked down at her body
held in its tight clothes and seeing how the vinyl was taut on her thighs
became distracted running her fingers across the gloss once more, thinking
about Kwan doing something similar later.
Soo Jin checked her watch and saw that she needed to be on her way if
she was not going to be late getting to the bar. She pulled down her silk raincoat and as she
put it on she looked around her room.
Though she prided herself in being a stylish, relaxed young woman, she
did not want to come across as neglectful of keeping her space tidy. As Soo Jin headed to the door, she realised
that she was assuming that she would be bringing Kwan back here later and
smiled at that thought. Of course, it
might not turn out that way, but she increasingly felt that the more she
thought about it being the case the more likely it was to come true. She had had only a couple of sexual partners
in her first year, and whilst she was not desperate for another encounter, Soo
Jin did feel that in Kwan she had found a man who could both be a good
boyfriend for her as well as an exciting lover.
Soo Jin walked into the bar,
conscious that even with the number of people already here, she attracted
attention. She glanced around and saw
Kwan sat on one of the larger sofas in the corner, a bottle of beer on the
table in front of him. She liked how he
was dressed and felt his outfit would complement hers perfectly. He had on a long leather coat, beneath which
was a polo neck top in black, black cargo pants and chunky shoes she recognised
as being Mad Fish. For an instant she
turned towards the bar as if to order herself a drink. There seemed to be a British woman, perhaps
in her thirties, perhaps older, with shorter than shoulder-length brown hair
and a peacoat, walking from the back of the bar towards Soo Jin. She smiled and looked relaxed and Soo Jin
wondered if she knew the woman, perhaps she was an administrator or a librarian
at the university; maybe she had mistaken Soo Jin for someone else.
For an instant Soo Jin felt she
should continue walking towards the woman and should talk to her. Then she shook her head, sending her long
black hair sweeping across the back of her silk raincoat. Instead she turned towards Kwan feeling a
sudden shudder of excitement as she did.
She glanced back just as she reached his sofa but she could not see the
British woman at all now. She tried to
work out the sight line that she had been looking down but it only led to the
mirrors behind the bar. Perhaps the
woman had been a member of staff or a health inspector or something and had
been smiling at someone behind Soo Jin.
That seemed likely. An initial
feeling that it had been important to talk to the woman faded quickly and
instead she turned to Kwan. He stood up
as she came near and she sent a hand around the small of his back and closed to
kiss him. She guessed that was behaving
the way that they would do if they were already a couple. Certainly in Korea they would have been more
discreet but that was one reason why she liked it in the UK, few people gave
such actions much thought. Conversely,
Soo Jin knew here that men had to be in no doubt about what the woman
wanted. Soo Jin felt more than confident
enough to rein Kwan in if he started to take things too quickly, but she
guessed some decent sex at the end of the first date was fast enough to satisfy
the average man. What she might have to
assert control over was the nature of the sex.
She was not going to let him get away with having an early ejaculation
and thinking it was all over neither was she simply going to give him oral sex
and let his jism gunge up her lovely hair.
She was certainly not averse to oral sex especially if it was fair
exchange, but it had to be on her terms.
Kwan smiled and Soo Jin could see
his eyes were running hungrily over her.
It was clear that her clothes and make-up, and presumably her very self,
matched with what he was seeking. That
was a good start as she realised that there was nothing about him that she had
any doubts about. He already had a
bottle of her favourite alcopop waiting and she mentally commended him on
reading her tastes so well.
The next few hours passed
incredibly quickly and they found they had a lot to talk about. Soo Jin enjoyed being able to speak in Korean
so that it did not make every sentence she delivered seem laboured. It turned out that they liked many of the
same movies and listened to the same bands.
They talked about their experiences in the UK and their plans for the
future and soon they were catching a taxi back to Soo Jin’s house. As she sat in the back of the taxi, Soo Jin
thought over how well the evening had gone.
It was almost as if Kwan had somehow been made for her, he seemed to fit
into her life so well. He now had his arm
protectively around her and she felt that they had been a couple for ages not
just that day. Perhaps things had moved
quickly, but it seemed foolish to put obstacles in the way of a development
that was certainly making her feel happy.
At the house, the muted sound of
the television and light under the door to the lounge were the only signs of
life. Soo Jin hesitated to kiss Kwan
just inside the door. There had been no
need for the discussion about cups of coffee, both of them, it seemed, knew
they were going to spend the night together.
Soo Jin took Kwan by the hand and led him up the stairs to her
bedroom. She hurried in ahead of him to
switch on a couple of the smaller lamps which bathed the room in a pleasant
orangey glow. Then she turned and locked
with Kwan in a deep kiss, letting her tongue chase his around and slowly
manoeuvred back to the bed. She lowered
herself down while Kwan stood over her.
She tossed off her raincoat, having dropped her bag on the table as she
had entered. Now she gently pressed her
corset top down on her pleasurably sensitive nipples.
“What would you like to try
first?” Soo Jin asked with a saucy smile
as she looked up at Kwan.
“First?”
“Well, you don’t think you’re
going to be leaving here tonight do you?”
“No, no, of course not.”
Soo Jin was charmed by his
uncertainty now. She liked leading the
way and would have balked at a man calling all the shots.
“Well, I am thinking you probably
want me to suck you off, all young, erm, all men want that don’t they?” Soo Jin said but tried not to sound
patronising; now she had got him here she did not want him going off in a huff.
“Erm, er.” Kwan stuttered. “How could you, erm?”
He seemed put out as if
disconcerted that somehow Soo Jin had read his mind. However, from the erection straining to break
out from his trousers, Soo Jin guessed she had been spot on with her
assumption. To reassure him, she smiled
sweetly and began unlacing her top so that her breasts began to appear.
“Fair enough, but there will be
rules. First, though you have to do
something for me. Fair exchange is no
robbery.” Soo Jin said, wondering where
she had got that phrase from.
It was clear Kwan had not
entirely got the message.
“Down here. On your knees. Get down here, please.” Soo Jin said to moderate her request not
wanting to come over as too dominating; after all she did want to make love to
this man not simply screw him.
Kwan threw off his coat and
complied. Soo Jin unzipped her vinyl
trousers and slid them a short way down her thighs but did not remove them, she
realised she was keen to see Kwan’s head sliding between the glossy black. Having sex in these clothes would make them
all the more exciting to wear next time she put them on. She pulled her thong aside and rang her fingers
over her black pussy hair. The lips were
widening of their own accord. With two
fingers Soo Jin caught her clitoris and excited it more, making it a clearer
target for Kwan’s attentions. However,
she felt certain he would know what he was doing. Then his head slid between her thighs and Soo
Jin shuddered with a thrill, loving the shininess of the clothes she wore and
how sexual they made her feel. As Kwan’s
tongue did a long stroke across her pussy lips and stroking the tip of her
clitoris, she knew there was not much she was going to have to tutor him in
doing, bar the pace and focus that she wanted at each stage.
As the pleasure rose steadily,
Soo Jin threw back her head and emitted yelps of delight with each stroke of
Kwan’s tongue. Reflected in the chrome
around the light fitting in the centre of the room, she could see a dim,
orangey image of her face. For an
instant it seemed that he features were replaced with those of the British
woman she had seen in the bar. That
seemed wrong and Soo Jin closed her eyes firmly. Opening them she stared intently at her
features as if to fix them in place: her ivory skin, her elliptical eyes, her
long black hair. This was her, this was
Tae Soo Jin and as her boyfriend brought her to orgasm she knew she did not
want to be anywhere or anyone else.
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